Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
