the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
