I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
