Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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