My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
