I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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