I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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