is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
