I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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