so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
