she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
love makes seman taste better
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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