So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
