Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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