If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
