I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
