Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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