So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
