ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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