every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
