Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
false alarm, still single
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