no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
