She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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