Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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