I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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