You're my little dorito
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
