Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
