i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
is that a dick in a sweater?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
as a side note pls kill me
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