I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
