When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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