you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
