Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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