Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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