I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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