dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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