She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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