We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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