You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
