my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Don't EVER smell your tampon
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You brought string cheese to the strip club
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize