I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
