franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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