Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
