and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
