Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
