You made me cry and you don't even care
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
