You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
