just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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