4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
