just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
