If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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