She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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