Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
