Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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