Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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