Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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