Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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